The first time I had a panic attack
Was when dad came back
After drinking
After mam started to pack
And...
Just like then we were both crying
And I knew that since that day
A part of him started dying

First time I went to therapy
I was 16 not eating
And my parents were scared of me
At that time we were hit by austerity
They were focused on my brother
He was high all the time you see

The silence got louder
But I was screaming in my head
All I wanted to do
Was go to sleep and stay in bed

The last rime I had a panic attack
Was when the love of my life
Told me she wasnt coming back

Just right there
Thay was my full stop
As I downed the vodka
One too many pills
Were popped

Woke up in he AnE
Felt so ashamed
My own sister wouldnt look at me

The nurses looked at me
As if I was as fragile as a pearl
"All this for a boy?" they say

Because mam was too emvbarressed to say
She loved a girl.